Alright so here we are again... Lets give it another shot right? I mean what can it hurt? I have to have somewhere to vent!
My name is Megan, I just recently married the love of my life Michael! We have 3 kids between the 2 of us, who are typically pretty awesome! He has 2 kiddos and I have 1 but we always make sure that nobody feels like they are being treated less than fair! For now I am just going to call them by their ages until I can think of something better :)
6 is a girl who can be the most loving and nicest child in the world until you tell her no, she is also probably the smartest 6 yr old in the world.
5 is a boy who is so sensitive but tries so hard not to be. You can always tell when something is really getting to him!
and 4 is a boy who tries really hard to be sensitive but in the end realizes that he can only fake cry for so long before it is to much!
The number one rule in our house for the kiddos is NO Fake Crying, It is just something that we cant stand. Like our equivilent of nails on a chalkboard.
The second most important rule is that everyone is family that there is no such thing as a REAL brother or sister, that family is family not matter what!
Believe it or not the second rule is actually the most difficult to enforce! 6 has it in her head that 5 and I will never ever be considered part of her family because we arent related by blood or something. Not a day goes by that I get to not hear that I am not her REAL mom so she is not going to listen to me or that 5 is not her REAL brother and that she wont play with him because of it!
Alot of these issues stem from the hubs family. I love this family so much sometimes more than my own. When I first met them I was amazed, I was in a really rough spot in my life and I had just gone through a really bad breakup and life was kind of shitty but they welcomed me with open arms no questions asked. They were so loving and giving and it didn't matter. Now though it honestly seems like they are a completely different family.
His mom is one of the most wonderful people that I have ever met in my life. She is like the mother I never had growing up, I mean i had a mom growing up but that story is for another time. This lady has shown 5 and I so much compassion and helped us so much but now it is a whole different story!
6 and 4 live with their mom in new york full time. We get them for summer break and winter break. Awesome right? I mean at least we get to see them? Sure it sucks that they arent closer so that everyone could see them more but hey we will take what we can get!
They are truly awesome kids but they have such an issues wiht listening to anything that I say. It is the most frustrating thing in the whole world. They treat me like shit because Michael's family treats me like shit. I am constantly being attacked in one way or another. I am just at a loss as to what I should do anymore. I mean honestly what the hell is someone supposed to do when their husbands family accepted them to begin with but now treats them like crap?
There is so much running through my head I just dont know where to start or go or anything.
All I know is that I am exhausted wiht everyone treating me like shit and telling me that I am a shitty person, that I dont know how to deal with the kids because i dont know them and so much more.
I am one person I can only handle so much before i break....
I am seconds away from breaking and nobody seems to care. I cant deal with everyone going around telling me that I am horrible. I try my hardest to be someone that everyone will like, someone that pleases everyone but at the same time I absolutely refuse to bow down and let everyone walk all over me. I will not let that happen.. I dont deserve that.. Nobody does. The hubs older sister is a huge part of this problem. Im going to call her S. S and I have never really been friends. I mean its not that we were enemys or anything we just werent friends.
When hubs proposed to me and we set a date S took it upon herself to try to plan the wedding, everyone did honestly but she was the worst about it because she would blow up my phone and facebook every day with things that I should and shouldnt do for the wedding and then get upset when I didnt like her ideas. When it came to picking the bridal party hubs and I had originally decided on using just friends because our familys were way to big to make sure that everyone was in the wedding. S found out and flipped shit. She told his mom on us and she freaked out on us. We ended up changing it so that S could be in the wedding. She was to be one of my bridesmaids. Cool whatever lets keep going. Over the next few months she got worse about wanting to plan our wedding and worse and worse, everyone got worse the closer that we got to the day.
One night S and I got into it over some stupid crap and the following day I felt it necessary to post a status on facebook about all of the things that we had changed in our wedding for everyone but us. I mean we had changed pretty much everything, location, date, time, what I was wearing, what my bridesmaids were wearing, what the guys were wearing, how many people were in our wedding party, who was performing our wedding Seriously everything, I was even asked to change the song that I was walking to because someone thought that it wasnt traditional enough..
My status was pretty vague, it did state alot of the things that we had changed but it did not name anyone or even describe anyone. S went fucking crazy about it. She sent me a message going off on me calling me all kinds of names and telling me that I annoy the shit out of her and that she knew that my whole status was about her.
When I explained that while yes some of it was about that not all of it was she kept going off on me telling me that even though I annoy the shit out of her that she dealt with me because I was marrying her brother adn blah fucking blah multiple times that week she had told me that I was disrespectful and had told me yet again that I was being disrespectful.
I explained to her that I was not even half as disrespectful as she was making me out to be and proceeded to explain that I had changed our wedding date out of respect to her because when we originally chose it we hadnt realized that it was her birthday and we didnt want to take that from her, I explained that I had changed what the bridesmaids were wearing ebcause she had told me that she was uncomfortable with her body and didnt really feel ok in the dresses that I chosen, the last thing that I explained to her was that I had not asked to be my bridesmaid because we were friends that I had done it because she was my soon to be husbands sister adn that is the respectful thing to do.
SHE FUCKING LOST IT THERE! She pulled herself and her part of the family from teh wedding. THis was 6 days before the wedding. I was down a bridesmaid, 2 flower girls, a groomsmen, and a guest book attendant. She twisted everythign I said and got his mom involved and it was like a fucking jerry springer show! Seriously! Jerry fucking Springer! Everyone was calling me and going off on me, telling me that I needed to apologize to S for what I said to her that upset her. The whole time all i could think is that I had no reason to be expected to apologize. I was verbally attacked and defended myself.. Why should I have to be the one to apologize? I mean seriously? Why me? Nobody expected S to apologize to me for calling me names and telling me that I am disrespectful and annoy the shit out of her.. No they expected me to apologize for defending myself.
Keep in mind the whole time this was happening i was scrambling to deal with last minute shit for our wedding, His mom went super crazy too! She freaked out on me for upsetting her daughter. She told us that everything that she had originally offered for the wedding was off the table.
Cue hard core freak out mode, I was now not only down like half my bridal party but I had no reception cite, no wedding cake and no grooms parents!
Hubs and I sat down multiple times a day and talked about it and every time he would tell me that I just needed to apologize to her and everything would be ok, in the end I did send her an apology text and she responded by sayiiing that she was still really upset and that she probably wouldnt come to the wedding anyways...
Hubs mom and I made up and after she calmed down I was able to explain my side to her and she understood.
That same week Hubs kids got into town, so we were dealing wiht all of that too!
Wedding day comes and his kids have no clue that we are even getting married or that they are in the wedding! FUCKING AWESOME! They get dropped off and are filthy! 6's hair looked like it hadnt been brushed in a month! SO 45 minutes before the ceremony starts ya know when I am supposed to be getting into my dress I am washing up kids that dont even know what is going on trying to fix 6's hair all while trying to finish getting ready myself!
Finally time to walk!
It is pouring! We all still walk!
I finally get up to Hubs and glance out at the crowd only to see S glaring at me! Dude if looks could kill I would have died right there!
Fast forward to the reception, I do my best to just avoid S becuase lets face it I am still upset with her and its my fucking wedding day I dont have to deal with anyone that I dont want to deal with!
6 and 4's mom was invited to the wedding because everyone is still friends with her and there is a long they are all related by marriage story involved, wierd I know! anyways she did not come to the ceremony but she sure did make an appearance at the reception. She was in like half of my reception pictures crying because she was about to leave the kids for the summer. Totally understandable. What was not understable was that every time someone would get them calmed down she would go say goodbye again and get them crying a fucking gain! FUCK MAN! Just leave already!
She finally leaves and the party is! Thank Goodness!
fast forward a few weeks and its game on S is sending me shitty messages on fb for pretty much everythign that I do, his mom is treating me like shit becuase I have rules that I enforce, ya know like wear your shoes outside so you dont step on glass, or you have to pants on to go to the fucking store. Basic shit!
THe kids see everyone treating me like shit all the fucking time and they just go along with it. They dont respect me, they dont listen to me nothing. His family is all acting that. Seriously S is not even allowed to be in the same house as me right now becuase she cant keep her fucking mouth shut. I have been avoiding his mom like there is no tomorrow because I am so fed up with hearing her shit!
The best part about all of this is that we live 2 fucking doors down from his mom! FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE!
It is time to fucking move and put some fucking distance between us and them. It is time for his kids to go home, they fucking hate me and have made it very fucking clear but to be 100% honest I dont really care for them right now either, I mean I love them like they were my own but I cant stand them. I cant take any more your not my real moms or anymore fake crying because you looked at me and I didnt like it. I am fucking done with all of it.
I am to the point that one more fucking thing and I am going to fucking lose my shit! Everyone keeps saying that I am such a horrible mean person they have no fucking clue, seriously none. I have actually been holding back so much. One of these days I am just going to explode and then everyone will just sit there and reflect on how much shit I have dealt with in the past few months!
